Tales from the Classroom, and partly why I no longer am a schoolteacher

I taught elementary and jr. high school for 5 years. The first year as a kindergarten teacher was AMAZING....I remember laughing and smiling all the time that year....all the hilarious stories. LOVED every second of it. And that was the end of the teaching honeymoon.

I did end up marrying a school teacher and so the stories continue. He has been teaching almost 24 years. Here are two Bill experienced in the last 2 weeks...both FIRSTS:

A boy, who will remain anonymous, was in my room this morning
opening up a small plastic wrapped item. I heard from the corner of the
room, as he looked at his item is a confused manner, "EWWW, a tampon!"
Apparently, he found a tampon on the ground and thought it was some sort of
candy. Soooo, he picked it up to eat in my class. Yes...I have tampon
eaters in my class. When he realized what it was, he ran up to me with
the most awful look on his face and put said pon on my desk! I told
him that I didn't want his tampon and asked him to please throw it in the
trash.

Then I gave him some Purell, just because
...
I could not stop laughing!

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A girl just threw up on my desk. My "work station" is sporting a nice shiny gloss and a few chuncklets as well.
I am going to vomit...
Flan